That feels like about all I can do sometimes. Interesting things have begun to happen now that I've started putting more energy out into being in Seattle. I've picked up one and possibly three new clients, for one thing—I never saw myself as a full-time freelancer, but that's suddenly what I've become. It's definitely a different way of working from the way I'm used to, but there are a lot of good lessons to learn in it, not the least of which is balance. Hopefully the money will eventually be enough to get me over the water, but in the meantime it's always a good feeling to be working—it's been hard dealing with the feeling of being unproductive, even though I've been doing a lot of work in other areas of my life these past few months. I really like having the structure of some kind of job to do every day, even when I hate it.

By that, I mean that I've often had the thought, "I'd be doing so much more creative work if only it werenlt for all the time I spend at my job." Well, having not had a full-time job for several months now, I can say thing didn't exactly pan out that way, so I've concluded the reverse is more likely true—I do more creative work (painting, music, writing) when I have that to push against, when I know that my creative time is limited. Somehow the additional pressure involved in making time for it gives it a higher priority.

Two favorite songs for this week

These have been in constant rotation in my head for the last week, thanks to a nasty flu bug and way too many hours spent in front of MTV2 [links require Real Player]:

• Vanessa Carlton – A Thousand Miles [click "Music"]
• Phantom Planet – California [click "Music"]

The videos for both are pretty good too. Beautiful pop songs for spring.