Reason #5,238 why I usually only watch FoodTV (besides the fact that I'm a food porn addict): On TV Tonight from The Onion. Of course, if they included the Food Network on this list, it would have to have shows like:

• Emeril Live!: Buy My Seasoning Blends
• Eat More Meat with Bobby Flay
• The Naked Chef: What to Do with a Nice Bit of Tongue

FoodTV has actually taught me a lot about some of the finer points of cooking, like proper knife technique, and I'm completely hooked on A Cook's Tour, even though I usually manage to miss it. The free recipes are a nice bonus, although they make staying on Weight Watchers that much more difficult…