It's a weird time. I mentioned limbo a few entries back, I think, and that's still where we are, although the pace of limbo continues to slow. Mom made the decision earlier this week not to have any further treatment, so there will be no more blood transfusions, and she's on only minimal medication. This was hard news to hear, though expected, but now that a few days have passed what comes up for me most is a feeling of great admiration. It takes courage to choose, even when things are going in a direction that wasn't chosen.

And that's kind of how it feels for me too. Barring my own death, this time was destined to come eventually. It's sooner than any of us would have hoped, but it's here nonetheless. It's a choice every day to stay with it, see how things unfold, and know that every day, every goodnight, every breath could be the last one. It's the most intense spiritual practice I've ever entered into, and the hardest. I have a sneaking suspicion it will also be the most rewarding in spite of such a great loss.